The Birth Story
Nov 20, 2009 I want to try and write this while the memory is still (somewhat) fresh in my head, but MAN. Thea’s birth was a really really intense experience, and let’s just say I’m glad she’s our last baby. For reals.
So I started having contractions about 9pm on Wednesday night. They were a little stronger than the Braxton Hicks I’d been having, and completely irregular, but we (the Godmother, the husband, and I) all decided to start keeping track of the time, and the pain intensity (on a scale of 1-5, 1 being uncomfortable, 5 being pain that I was unable to talk through). I was feeling a little excited, and in varying degrees of pain, and trying not to look at the clock, but around 3am I had contractions about 7 minutes apart. Bryan and the Godmother exchanged a look and both agreed to call the midwife RIGHT THEN just in case.
Once they called her, and she agreed to come over the river and through the woods (a 2+ hour drive) the contractions started to slow, and I started to feel very foolish. I didn’t want the midwife driving all this way for nothing, and while I was pretty sure that this was the real thing, there were no guarantees, of course.
We kept up notes on the contractions, and the midwife made it to the house a little after 5am. We all hung out in the living room, with the kids asleep on various couches, until the midwife told me that I should get as much rest as possible. I decided to lie down in bed at about 7am, and slept through the contractions as best I could. They were getting much, much stronger, and much closer together, so by about 9am I was done and got back up. I tried to let everyone else sleep, and keep to myself, until about 10am, when the contractions were about 2-3 minutes apart.
That’s when the party really got started. I was in the living room at first, on the couch and then on the balance ball, but that was really uncomfortable to me. I didn’t want the pressure of sitting down, so I got up and started walking through the house — from our bedroom (at the back of the house) to the living room, and back again. When I had a contraction I would stop and lean on something, the Godmother would rub my back, and Bryan would hold my arm or rub my neck or head, the contraction would pass, and we’d do it all over again.
We took little breaks to eat and drink and the midwife checked the baby’s heartbeat periodically (she was so stealthy about it a couple of times I didn’t realize what she was doing until she was almost done). I was starting to get tired, but I really was just frustrated. I had never labored naturally, I had never let my body take its course, and I was honestly just getting impatient. I wanted to see RESULTS and I wanted them NOW. I didn’t yell or scream or curse during contractions — the pain was completely bearable, but I did freak out on Bryan one or nine times. It seemed he couldn’t speak to me without putting his foot in his mouth, or without my getting completely pissed at him. That was, in part, because I wanted to get the damn show on the damn road.
Right after one freak-out episode, the midwife offered to perform an exam if I wanted, to see where things were. At first I declined — the thought of only being dilated to 2cm or something ridiculous was more than I could handle, but the more I thought about it the more I needed to know. If we were still at the very beginning I needed to prepare myself, otherwise my little husband freak-outs were going to get… worse. I could tell. So, we went to my room, and she checked out the situation, and informed me I was at a 6, and 90% effaced. I think I cried a little (from relief) and actually smiled for the first time that day. Knowing that things were progressing gave me the strength I needed to continue.
After that, time seemed to speed up and slow down at odd intervals. I would look at the clock and it would be 2 hours later, or I’d look at the clock and only 4 minutes had passed. Also, the contractions became much much more intense, but again, nothing I couldn’t handle. I’d lived through Pitocin contractions, and kept expecting the pain to make me want to rip my own eyeballs out of my head, but that never happened. I think that’s what surprised me the most: that I totally breathed through each contraction, and managed to keep myself under control.
I also kind of stopped being aware of my surroundings at some point — I know that I hopped in the shower for a little bit with Bryan and the Godmother’s help. I know that I somehow made it back to the bedroom, and I kind of fell over on the bed and dozed off between contractions, but I had no knowledge of who was in the room with me, what conversations people were having, or where the kids were or what they were doing. I think at that point the house could’ve been on fire, and I wouldn’t have really paid any attention.
While I was on the bed, dozing off, the contractions changed from the normal sensation to more of an urge to push. I didn’t really pay much attention to it mentally, but kind of let my body take over. I felt like pushing, so I pushed. I guess it didn’t occur to me that HEY! This is what happens NEXT! I just dozed off, pushed a little, and then dozed off again.
At some point I woke up enough to look around the room, and I saw that the midwives (at this point the other midwife had arrived) had gotten all the supplies into the bedroom — like, this baby was coming. They’re all prepared for this baby to come. This baby might come soon. HOLY CRAP! That woke my ass right up, and then I sat on the edge of the bed for a couple more contractions, until one of the midwives said, “Hon, if the baby is coming, that’s probably not the best position to be in.” That made it real to me. I wasn’t scared at all, but I was definitely ready to transition from the phase of letting the contractions just happen, to actively getting this kid out into the world.
I moved from the foot of the bed up to the head of the bed, with pillows behind me. The Godmother stood by my right side, and Bryan and the other two midwives were at the foot of the bed. I never realized how big our bed was until this birth, and the fact that we had 4 grown people sitting on it at once. Anyway, I pushed for A. WHILE. Like, way longer than I thought I would have to.
My water still hadn’t broken fully, so during one push the midwife could see the bag, and broke my water. Things progressed very quickly from pushing and not seeing any results, to pushing and then the baby was crowning. And let me tell you something about this baby crowning: the “ring of fire” as they call it? That’s putting it mildly. I had never experienced anything like this with my other births, which has made me re-think my other labors, but OH. EM. GEE. It wasn’t like a contraction pain that came and went — that shit was constant. It kept burning and burning until her head was free. From there, I was pushing as hard as possible to get the rest of her body out, but time seemed to slow down, and she wouldn’t come out. I was pushing so hard I seriously thought I was going to have a stroke, but it turned out her shoulder was stuck. One of the midwives reached in (oh the pain) and freed her shoulder, and that was instant relief.
Marissa was at the foot of the bed (again, the kids came in the room and I had NO knowledge of this whatsoever — the littles were on the bed and Marissa was standing by the midwives) and helped the midwife catch Thea as she was born. When they placed the baby on my chest the two littles yelled, “It’s Thea! She’s here! She’s here!” At the time I didn’t realize what they were saying, but we have it on tape, and I think that’s my favorite part of the whole experience — having the newest baby greeted with such excitement and joy by her sisters.
I think I delivered the placenta less than 5 minutes after Thea was born, and that, as they say, was THAT. My job was over — I got to hold the baby and rest. The midwives, Bryan, and the Godmother swung into action, cooking food, throwing in laundry, changing the bedding, cleaning up, corralling the kids, etc. I don’t know how they did it, seeing as how they were as exhausted as I was, but I was totally dazed, in awe, and starving (in that order).
The midwives filled out all the paperwork, weighed and measured the baby, got her dressed, had some food, and helped prepare the placenta for us (to make into capsules to take during my recovery). Thea was born at 7:44pm, but they didn’t leave until about 11:30, and that whole time seemed to really fly by. I was still in a little bit of shock at how, well, NORMAL everything seemed. No nurses to pester and poke me, no one shooing the kids and family out of the room, no nasty hospital food or fluorescent lighting. Just our family in our house, in our bedroom, with our kids, eating and talking and laughing and kissing the hell out of this tiny little person that was just born. It was, in a word, perfect.
If you’re thinking about a homebirth, or are open to the idea, I highly recommend exploring your options. I’m not saying hospitals and doctors are evil — but I’ve delivered babies in both venues now. I cannot stress enough how satisfying it was to have our baby at home, in familiar and comfortable surroundings, supported by the people that know and love me the most.
Reader Comments (8)
Aww!! I love your story! How awesome that Thea was welcomed into the world by joyful family all around her! That part gave me goosebumps! I'm so happy for you and your big old family full of beautiful girls!
What a truly beautiful, intense and moving account of a home birth. Cheers to you and the fam :)
What a wonderful way for Thea to be welcomed into the family!
Well done you :-)
You forgot my FAVORITE chapter of the story involving a living room knick knack! Oh well, I guess that one will be our little secret ;-)
You are amazing, as always! Thanks so much for sharing! No babies on this end yet, but through the past few years I started thinking that if I did have a child in the future, I'd like to explore a homebirth with a mid-wife. Sounds like an incredible, albeit painful, experience! I hope I get to meet her and all your little ones someday! Besos!
That was a beautiful birth story. I'm so glad it was a peaceful experience.
Wonderful! Welcome to the world Thea! What a great way to have a baby, thank you for sharing.
Homebirth is an amazing thing. Glad yours was everything you hoped for!